The World Needs More Ninjas

Apparently the RIAA is now claiming that CD-Rs are on the verge of pushing Britney Spears into a life of poverty. Yes, those blank CDs you buy at Walmart are now a bigger threat to the music industry than all those evil peer-to-peer programs. In other news:

• Book publishers consider paper the most dangerous piracy tool in existence since it can be used to print copyrighted works. A spokesperson says, “Getting a ban passed will be difficult since people have been using this piracy tool for thousands of years.”
• The RIAA tells sound card and speaker manufacturers that they are the second biggest threat to copyright infringement. Says a spokesperson, “These companies are actually producing devices which allow music to be audibly reproduced where people can then illegally record the sounds.”
• The RIAA tells FedEx and UPS that they are the third biggest threat. According the RIAA, “We’ve just recently discovered a particularly devious and sophisticated method of illegal music sharing where people can burn their music to DVDs and use one of these companies to transmit tens of gigabytes of data to a friend for only a couple of dollars.”