The World Needs More Ninjas

Seth Davis from CNNSI is all gaga over Myles Brand and the NCAA’s report on Native American Mascots:

For those of you who have been deriding the NCAA’s new policy, ask yourself a simple question: Would you tolerate a similar caricature if it was focused on blacks? On Jews? On Latinos? Of course not. So why are you willing to exempt Native Americans from the same kind of political correctness?

Seth, my friend, you’re on a roll, why stop: On Irish? On Clergymen (if “Demon Deacons” is acceptable, then “Infidel Imams” is too, right)? On Religious Groups? On Cowboys? On Trojans? On Spartans?

Oh wait, here comes my answer when Seth really puts it to North Dakota University president Charles Kupchella for challenging the NCAA:

Kupchella’s letter of appeal isn’t just filled with half-truths and red herrings. (He asks why the NCAA opposes “Fighting Sioux” but not “Fighting Irish.” Answer: Because there has never been mass protest by Irishmen and women over Notre Dame’s nickname.)

Aha! Evidently the criteria for something being morally right or wrong isn’t based on some absolute notion, but on “mass protest” (which sounds suspiciously like, “those who are most easily offended”). Of course, one needs to decide exactly what constitutes “mass” (because there are probably so many of you that get tired of always seeing those anti-Native American mascot protests breaking out in virtually every town in America). Also, it’s not clear what we do if the ethnic group in question no longer exists, and hence do not have the ability to become offended, as is the case with the Illini, the Spartans, and the Trojans.

So, according to Seth Davis, here is an example of how I can make something become morally wrong. I eat cheese as I’m sure many of you who are lactose-tolerant do as well. One day, I see those Cheesehead Green Bay Packers fans and all of a sudden decide, “Those discriminating, callous fools! Cheese is supposed to go in your mouth. How dare they caricature one of my favorite foods by placing it upon their heads!”. Oh heck, I’m offended now! So, I organize a “mass protest” of cheese-eaters. Again, I’m not sure what constitutes “mass”, but I guess I’ll email my numbers to Seth Davis as he seems to be the self-appointed arbitrator what number pushes a “Somewhat Big” protest into the critically important “Mass” category. So let’s assume that Seth gives me the approval when my protest reaches this magical “mass” number.

Now, I’m sure that there are going to be people that will say, “Oh, your protest is just political correctness run amok”. Which, of course, I’ll answer by comparing my cause to civil rights because everyone knows that this is always the trump card when accused of “political correctness”. It’s common knowledge that every call for any type of societal change since the 1960′s has the same amount of moral importance as the civil rights movement, right? And, BOOM, I’ve changed something that wasn’t previously a moral wrong into a moral wrong virtually overnight using Sethdavisology 101. (Note to Myles Brand, if you really think that you and Jackie Robinson are on the same level when it comes to social justice, you really are more detached from reality than I ever imagined.)

There you have it, the Seth Davis Do-It-Yourself Kit for creating moral wrongs.