The World Needs More Ninjas

This is just uber-geeky. In the spirit of Churck Norris facts, the author has given us facts about computer security guru Bruce Schneier. I find it hilarious. Some of my favorites:

• Bruce Schneier was only allowed to view the Kryptos sculpture at Langley for 1 second, in order not to spoil the fun other cryptographers. It was 0.9 seconds too much.
• A mystery wrapped in an Enigma is no more puzzling to Bruce Schneier than a mystery wrapped in ROT-13.
• When he was three, Bruce Schneier built an Enigma machine out of Legos.
• The nuclear launch codes held by the President of the United States are secured by an unbreakable system: a plain brown envelope with a picture of Bruce Schneier on the flap.
• Bruce Schneier can solve NP-Complete problems in NlogN time.
• Bruce Schneier once found the inverse of a trapdoor function counting only on the fingers of one hand.
• Bruce Schneier knows Alice and Bob’s shared secret.
• Most people use passwords. Some people use passphrases. Bruce Schneier uses an epic passpoem, detailing the life and works of seven mythical Norse heroes.
• Bruce Schneier’s secure handshake is so strong, you won’t be able to exchange keys with anyone else for days.
• Bruce Schneier’s tears can burn holes through an OpenBSD firewall. Lucky for us, Bruce Schneier never cries.
• SSL is invulnerable to man-in-the-middle attacks. Unless that man is Bruce Schneier.
• Bruce Schneier fully discloses his own vulnerabilities: none.
• Bruce Schneier once broke AES using nothing but six feet of rusty barbed wire, a toothpick, and the front axle from a 1962 Ford Falcon.
• Bruce Schneier can change most random distributions. With his fists.
• Sweeping NSA reforms will soon require all employees to grow a Bruce Schneier beard.